Recently, I was told I was, Cautiously Optimistic… I simply smiled back at them. But I thought to myself, what does that even mean?! Was that a compliment, or were they telling me I didn’t know how to find joy in potential success. I guess it means different things to different people. And the reason for that, is that everyone has their own experiences with life’s positive news and events.
For some, getting good news means “WooHoo, All in!” Even though the news may or may not be set in stone yet, they are excited and want to shout from the mountain top that they have the possibility of something positive going on in their life. It’s exhilarating!
** Here we meet Daisy. Daisy, a bright young professor at the University, heard from her department chairperson that the Dean of the school was considering her for tenure, making her a permanent member of the university staff. Exciting news, right?! Within minutes of her meeting with her department chair, she had the news splashed all over her social media accounts and made phone calls to everyone she knows. She was so excited she could barely contain herself. Afterall, she had worked long hours, spent a lot of money on her education, and was the brightest associate professor the University had seen in a very long time. After a month of consideration from the Dean, Daisy found out that they had rejected her tenure. It seems she had not published enough in the academic community for final consideration. Okay, now what…? Daisy was devastated. Not only was she sad, but she had to tell all those friends that she’d told about her promotion that it wouldn’t happen. She can, and probably will, play this turn of events one of two ways. She’ll either pretend it didn’t happen and lay low for a while until the excitement of her friends and family subsides. Or she will acknowledge her disappointment with her friends and make a plan for this to come through in the end, whereby, fixing whatever stopped her in the first place. Staying positive. (I chose to believe she took the later approach).
For a few others (I happen to fall into this category) it is okay to tell a few people of the possibility of something, but prefer to wait until whatever is a possibly becomes certain, or in my case, to be assured that heart wrenching disappointment will not show its ugly head.
**Enter Jesse… Jesse and his wife, Kim, found out that after years of trying they were finally going to have a baby. Kim was having trouble getting past the first month before miscarrying the child. But now they were at 2 months pregnant, and the doctor told them that she felt this was going to be their lucky try. The baby was strong, and Kim’s pregnancy looked healthy. Jesse and Kim decided to tell only their immediate family about the pregnancy until Kim was well into her second trimester. They couldn’t risk having to tell everyone that she had lost the baby again. The midway point of the second trimester approached and the doctor agreed that the pregnancy would go full term, both Kim and the baby were healthy. Jesse and Kim were now free to spread the good news.
And lastly, there are those who’s “mums the word” mindset on anything that could possibly have a different outcome, guides their heart when it comes to letting anyone into their personal circle of life’s possibilities. They wait until things are inevitable before telling even their closest friends or family that something good (or bad) happens.
** This is Sarah. Sarah works at one of the largest Corporate Law Firms in New York City. Sarah had been a Junior Partner for going on seven years now. She had settled into the fact that she was a woman in a man’s world and showing emotion was considered taboo. A terrible thought, of course, but she thought she would never break that glass ceiling and get promoted to Senior Partner if she showed even the slightest amount of excitability. However, she knew she was on the short list for a promotion. A meeting of the Senior Partners resulted in the positive vote in favor of Sarah being their newest and youngest senior partner in decades. Inside, Sarah was elated, and she’d earned it! That afternoon, she called her sister and several of their friends and invited them all out to a fancy restaurant for dinner. At the dinner, they all asked Sarah… “What are we celebrating?” Sarah simply smiled, raised her glass of wine, and said “to family and good friends.” Months later, after Sarah had taken a big new office in her firm, that her friends began to notice she’d had a promotion. “When were you promoted?! That is so exciting!” they asked. “Oh, a couple of months ago, it’s no big deal,” she replied shyly. She wasn’t the least bit interested in allowing anyone to know early on, she was considered or even that she’d gotten the position, because the idea that it could be taken away from her at any moment terrified her.
It’s funny really, how we, as unique and complicated individuals, react to good news. While positive events in our lives are exciting and good, they can bring about the fear of failure at the same time. For me, that fear rests in the disappointments in my life that left a scar. But I’m not so scarred that I don’t allow myself to become quietly excited until I am able to feel secure enough to allow myself to be outwardly excited.
Donna Fera
AuthorDonna Fera‘s writing invites readers to explore unknown worlds alongside courageous heroes as they face thrilling challenges and uncover hidden secrets. With a Bachelor of Arts in History and Anthropology from University of North Carolina at Charlotte, Donna is able to take her readers on amazing journeys that draw upon her background in research and learning practices. Combined with her experience in the airline industry and special projects, Donna creates stories that captivate readers with their combination of organizational detail and customer service resolution. Join Donna on this remarkable journey!
Great post! And that corresponding image is perfect.